Green Tunes: Episode 5

I'm going to violate my own rule and post another video by Rush. Please allow me to indulge myself. I think I've made it abundantly clear that Rush is my favorite group evar. I even fell out with them for a time but came back, head long in love again.

Anyway, the song is The Pass. It's one of those songs I've been listening to for years and the older I get the more meaning I get from the lyrics. The song got me through high school as the story of someone who, perhaps feeling alone in the world, uses his dreams to pull him through the mess of adolescence. But as an adult, I find that I tend to focus more on the chorus that begins, "All of us get lost in the darkness," rather than the angst of the first two verses.

However, The positivity that radiates from the second two verses is what I find so inspiring about the song, "It's not as if this barricade blocks the only road...". I've learned over many years that finding your path is more important than reaching the destination. But no matter how enlightening that may seem, it's almost never a pleasant thing to experience. The journey is seldom easy. But despite that, the fourth verse is a call to arms, "Someone set a bad example...". Don't give up and don't quit no matter how impossible things may seem. If one door is closed, keep searching and you'll find an open one.

Proud swagger out of the schoolyard
Waiting for the worlds applause
Rebel without a conscience
Martyr without a cause

Static on your frequency
Electrical storm in your veins
Raging at unreachable glory
Straining at invisible chains

And now youre trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Cant face life on a razors edge
Nothings what you thought it would be

All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
All of us do time in the gutter
Dreamers turn to look at the cars
Turn around and turn around and turn around
Turn around and walk the razors edge
Dont turn your back
And slam the door on me

Its not as if this barricade
Blocks the only road
Its not as if youre all alone
In wanting to explode

Someone set a bad example
Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior
Who lost the will to fight

And now youre trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Done with life on a razors edge
Nothings what you thought it would be

No hero in your tragedy
No daring in your escape
No salutes for your surrender
Nothing noble in your fate
Christ, what have you done?

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I'm frustrated because I'm sick again. I have no idea why, but that cold is coming back. I started taking those foul-tasting Cold-Eeze when I noticed that I had a sore throat this time, though. I hate them, but they do decrease the length of a cold. The real issue with my second round of sickness, however, is that we still do not have insurance coverage and won't until September first. I'm not really concerned for Amy or myself as we can weather a cold without issue, but if Nicholas gets sick, he'll undoubtedly take a harder fall.

We still feel pretty unsettled here at the moment. The abrupt nature of this move coupled with the speed with which we have had to employ in order to accomplish it have taken an emotional toll on us. We'll recover, I know, but for now we don't feel at home. We're going to start looking for a house in a week or two, so I'm hoping that once we sell the house in Chicago and move in out here, our dispositions will begin to improve.

Iowegian

I've now been living in Iowa for two weeks. And I have somehow not gained 200 pounds by eating corn. ;) It's been a long couple of weeks, though. I moved most of what little I brought up to my apartment on Friday, August 1st while Amy had an interview for a job. She and Nick left early Saturday morning and I've been on my own ever since. That weekend was the hardest because I had nothing pressing to do, but once work began that next Monday, the pace picked up significantly and it hasn't slowed yet.

Unfortunately, I either was simply so upset that it made me sick or I contracted a bug from the water not long after I arrived which made that first week one of the roughest I've ever experienced at a new job. I spent much of my first Saturday in the bathroom and by Sunday I could barely sit down. If I managed to do that, I would double over in pain and lie moaning on the floor once I was done. My throat then started feeling a little scratchy. By Tuesday, my second day of work, my initial digestive problems were subsiding, but a full-blown cold had reared its head. Being wary of the water, I made friends with the local Walgreens employees after I started showing up there every morning to buy water and orange juice.

As for work, I've been busier than I've ever been in the last five years. There's a lot to know, a new confusing building system to navigate, and of course, the fear of getting up in front of a room full of people on a daily basis to conquer. I'm pretty familiar with most of the material that's being taught in all my classes. There are a few dark and dusty corners of information that I haven't used in a while that I will need to brush up on, but otherwise I know what I need to know. However, I still wonder if the day will come when the dean comes to my classroom and calls me out as a complete fraud.

I've been working long hours for about twelve days straight now and I am tired. I have one more day of meetings and instructional sessions to attend tomorrow and then Monday we're off to the races. I can't help but think of what my adviser in graduate school, Virgil, told me one semester, "All of my work is heaped at the beginning of the semester, while yours is heaped at the end. Our workloads are about even at midterm." I hope his experience will mirror my own.