Green Tunes: Episode 6

I went to the doctor again yesterday. He's really not sure what's wrong with me. My ears feel like they fill up with fluid every night. When I wake up, if I've been sleeping on my right side, my right ear is clogged with something to the point where I can't hear much of anything out of it. The pressure and pain stick around all day, but it's worst at night. This happened back in September but it came back last week. When it didn't go away by the weekend, I got an appointment for the doctor on Monday morning even though I was feeling alright. However, by Wednesday, some glands in my throat were noticeably swollen and it hurt to swallow. Not a scratchy hurt but that deep hurt that causes you to clench your jaw in expectation.

At my appointment, the doc had a few ideas. It could be some kind of allergies that I've never known I had, it could be something in the apartment, it could be strep throat, or it could be mono. Here are my thoughts on the potential diagnoses. I've never had an allergic reaction to anything let alone one this strong. It could be a mold issue or something similar in the apartment. If that's the case, I don't know what we'll do. The strep culture the doctor did came back negative, but strep is the only one of these problems I've had any experience with so it feels most like that to me. Finally, mono. I hope the blood test comes back and they call me today. I don't have time for mono, but I'll admit the thought of rest is welcome.

I admit defeat. I've tried to be strong. I've tried to muscle through and smile in the face of adversity, but I'm just sad about everything now. All this sickness and loneliness is really getting to me. I'm struggling with the idea that I've made a mistake by coming out here. Amy tries to buoy my spirits and reassure me that this move has been and will be for the best, but I'm having a hard time believing that right now. I feel a lot like I did fifteen years ago, unsure if I've made the right decisions with my future and no chance of reassurance without the undying patience to know that eventually another fifteen years will pass and the significance of a single decision will seem practically irrelevant.

Hey now, little speedyhead,
The read on the speedometer says
You have to go to task in the city
Where people drown and people serve
Don't be shy. Your just deserve
Is only just light years to go

Me, my thoughts are flower strewn
Ocean storm, bayberry moon
I have got to leave to find my way
Watch the road and memorize
This life that passed before my eyes
Nothing is going my way

The ocean is the river's goal,
A need to leave the water knows
We're closer now than light years to go

I have got to find the river,
Bergamot and vetiver
Run through my head and fall away
Leave the road and memorize
This life that passed before my eyes
Nothing is going my way

There's no one left to take the lead,
But I tell you and you can see
We're closer now than light years to go
Pick up here and chase the ride
The river empties to the tide
Fall into the ocean

The river to the ocean goes,
A fortune for the undertow
None of this is going my way
There is nothing left to throw
Of ginger, lemon, indigo,
Coriander stem and rows of hay
Strength and courage overrides
The privileged and weary eyes
Of river poet search naivete
Pick up here and chase the ride
The river empties to the tide
All of this is coming your way

Gaming Hiatus?

Since I've been working at the new job, I haven't had a whole lot of time to sink into gaming. Plus, I had to leave my PC back in Chicago until we can move everything out here. I had just started Darwinia when that happened and I'll be glad to see it again. However, I did bring my Nintendo DS with me and in the time between when I get in bed and I fall asleep, I've been spending a few minutes here and there playing games on it.

Darwinia

Now that I've finished Geometry Wars, I've picked up Etrian Odyssey II: Heroes of Lagaard. It's supposedly for only the hardest of hardcore RPG fans, and for the record, you might want to add the letter J to the front of that acronym, too. It is hard, for sure. I haven't quite finished the first level and my party's been wiped out three times. I'm going to keep going with it, though. It seems like I could get into the character customization aspects of it and the classes, while they do fill the standard archetypal tank/healer/damage roles are slightly more interesting versions of other classes I've seen lately in games like Guild Wars. There's a Necro-ish Hexer and a foreign-ish fighting Ronin class that adds some potentially interesting twists to the fighting part.

There's also the cartography. Oh, the cartography. I won't repeat what's been said in reviews countless times, but most games don't make you do this anymore. I don't find it that much of a loss not to have to whip out my graph paper to play a game anymore, but the tools that they've given to draw the map in-game are sufficient and completely appropriate so far.

Etrian Odyssey II: Heroes of Lagaard

Wuh Wuh Wuh

Yes, the switch to all-digital transmissions should be easy and painless for everyone.

Klingons and Wookies

This is the funniest thing I've seen in the past couple of weeks. Jim, the guy in the blue shirt, is trying to bait Dwight, the guy in the foreground, into wasting time at work. Dwight is a stickler for canon in sci-fi/fantasy fiction. Hilarity ensues.

Yes, Again

Nick went off of his antibiotics for the second time on Friday morning. By Friday night, he was showing behavior and symptoms of another cold. Between Amy and myself, we were up nearly all night with him. We took him to the doctor on Saturday morning and she checked his heart, lungs, and ears. Everything looked good. We slept Saturday away right along with Nick. We had our first social appointment for a lunch that we were both looking forward to but disappointed that we had to cancel. Saturday night was a little better and Sunday was decent. He seems to be doing even better this morning. Still, Amy and I are tired and getting more than a little lonely. It seems every time we try to get together to make friends, we have to cancel.

Just Sad

I am rather fiercely apolitical. While I believe that most of the people who run our country do have our best interests at heart despite which side of our myopic, two-party coin they tend to agree, the system itself is so dirtied by corporate interests and money that legal actions that might truly initiate necessary radical changes rarely tend to occur.

That being said, I am disgustingly entertained by the recent abhorrent behavior of rally attendees for the Republican presidential nominee. As the Democratic nominee begins to show some strength and our wasp brethren have their toes held to the fire, their true nature is showing. The ignorant comments are telling. Calling out that the Democratic nominee is an Arab or a Muslim, a complete falsehood, is shameful enough in that it continues plant the idea in the heads of the ignorant and stupid. But the real shame should be in the reason why the comment is being uttered in the first place. What if Obama was of Arab decent? What if he were Muslim?

Many conservatives choose their party based on closely held religious beliefs and if these are the people catcalling for things like Obama's death, their hypocrisy astounds. Christianity as it is practiced in America has come to mean fear and isolationism, the active rejection of people or ideas with which its practitioners tend to disagree. While that rejection is not necessarily against the tenets of the faith, the complete lack of respect, tolerance, and dare I say love for any people who might disagree with them is a telling litmus of exactly what impression the religion gives non- and ex-practitioners: selfish, fearful, and ignorant.

I know plenty of faithful Christians and am completely aware that these behaviors do not reflect the actions and beliefs of all of them. However, the palpable fear and ignorance of the others now on public display, their comments putting the ugly face of racism on parade and hate once again acting as the language of the day, is certainly no great advertisement for the conservative party or its Christian adherents. If this is what being faithful means, I respectfully decline.