Thursday, July 20, 2006
Unlike Joyce
We're leaving for New York tonight. Family reunion. My mom got a DS Lite last week. If I get one, I could potentially play games with my mom. She seems to like it. Maybe Nintendo's strategy is working. Neverwinter Nights 2 is delayed but I don't think I care. I haven't seen some of the people that will be at the reunion in twenty years. It might be a little weird. It will be nice to get away from work for a few days. It will be a long drive but we have some books. I'm reading Joyce right now. I can't write like Joyce. I don't think I really want to though. I wasn't really trying to either. It just came out so criticism is unnecessary.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Montrose Adonis
We went to Montrose Beach over the weekend with Claudiu and Autumn. While there, I had the dubious pleasure of observing a preening adonis as he harassed crippled Mexican children, attempted unsuccessfully to intimidate three large Russian mafia types, clung to his girlfriend like sand on tanning oil, and was potentially offered work in "modeling". I am not making any of this up, except maybe the offer to work in porn, but I can't deny that it may have been a possibility.
I really never expected people like this to exist. The stereotype is so extreme, so inherently ridiculous, that the probability of its manifestation in an actual personality seems like parody. Physically, he was a toned specimen, not lumpy and bulbous like a career body builder, but he obviously took very good care of himself. He actually reminded me very much of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho both in build and attitude. I could almost hear him telling me about his morning face-mask, skin-cleansing rituals.
When I first took notice our chiseled adonis, he was trying his best to enjoy a bite of food while seated on his beach blanket. His pleasure was preempted by four children walking away from the beach. Two of them were helping their youngest brother manage his gait in the sand as he was equipped with some sort of leg braces. Apparently, some sand kicked up into the wind from the boy's stumbling and the small cloud of dust had the audacity to come in contact with the skin and food of my bronzed buddy.
Not being able to tolerate any further inconvenience, Adonis spouted at the kids, "Hey, hey, hey!", while giving them that pseudo-aggressive shrug that one might see more often on the expressway than the beach. The oldest girl then sincerely apologized and continued helping her brother while Adonis continued to spray his anger and frustration at her. I couldn't quite understand what Adonis was saying, but as the kids walked by me, they seemed a little embarrassed, but mostly just sad that anything had happened at all. Apparently, he tried a similar kind of tactic with three large eastern European men, but they had no fear of his silly posturing. I did not see what caused the incident, but if I had to guess, Adonis probably thought they were ogling his girl.
For the next couple of hours, I caught Adonis making subtle flexing motions as he admired himself. He would also start flexing as other women walked by. Amy and Autumn confirmed this by walking by him themselves. When they returned, we all had a good laugh about it. He was wearing a modest version of Speedo swimwear and at one point while he was standing around trying to look cute, he pulled the taut waistband down to just above his pubic hair while he was flexing and giving his toned muscles a rubdown. In addition to the flexing, he would occasionally walk into the water with his girlfriend. But instead of holding hands, he would curl his arm around her neck and squeeze her close to him in what appeared to be a gesture of ownership rather than actual admiration.
Eventually, a man approached Adonis and the two of them had a brief conversation while Adonis was given some sort of business card. From their body language, it was clear that they did not know each other. After a few minutes the new man walked away and Adonis and his filly were left gazing at the card. I began to make up my own stories about what the card contained, stories about contractual murder or perhaps an invitation to a meeting of Assholes Anonymous, but when Adonis made a couple pelvic thrusting motions, I was pretty sure that he had been approached by someone in the porn business. Apparently, that kind of thing is more common on Chicago's beaches than one might realize. Somehow, I remain unconcerned about being approached.
Not long after this, my entertaining couple packed up and left the beach. Unfortunately, their stink will probably remain wedged in my memory much longer than I would have ever anticipated. He'll be kicking sand all up in my nerd face for an eternity, I'm sure.
I really never expected people like this to exist. The stereotype is so extreme, so inherently ridiculous, that the probability of its manifestation in an actual personality seems like parody. Physically, he was a toned specimen, not lumpy and bulbous like a career body builder, but he obviously took very good care of himself. He actually reminded me very much of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho both in build and attitude. I could almost hear him telling me about his morning face-mask, skin-cleansing rituals.
When I first took notice our chiseled adonis, he was trying his best to enjoy a bite of food while seated on his beach blanket. His pleasure was preempted by four children walking away from the beach. Two of them were helping their youngest brother manage his gait in the sand as he was equipped with some sort of leg braces. Apparently, some sand kicked up into the wind from the boy's stumbling and the small cloud of dust had the audacity to come in contact with the skin and food of my bronzed buddy.
Not being able to tolerate any further inconvenience, Adonis spouted at the kids, "Hey, hey, hey!", while giving them that pseudo-aggressive shrug that one might see more often on the expressway than the beach. The oldest girl then sincerely apologized and continued helping her brother while Adonis continued to spray his anger and frustration at her. I couldn't quite understand what Adonis was saying, but as the kids walked by me, they seemed a little embarrassed, but mostly just sad that anything had happened at all. Apparently, he tried a similar kind of tactic with three large eastern European men, but they had no fear of his silly posturing. I did not see what caused the incident, but if I had to guess, Adonis probably thought they were ogling his girl.
For the next couple of hours, I caught Adonis making subtle flexing motions as he admired himself. He would also start flexing as other women walked by. Amy and Autumn confirmed this by walking by him themselves. When they returned, we all had a good laugh about it. He was wearing a modest version of Speedo swimwear and at one point while he was standing around trying to look cute, he pulled the taut waistband down to just above his pubic hair while he was flexing and giving his toned muscles a rubdown. In addition to the flexing, he would occasionally walk into the water with his girlfriend. But instead of holding hands, he would curl his arm around her neck and squeeze her close to him in what appeared to be a gesture of ownership rather than actual admiration.
Eventually, a man approached Adonis and the two of them had a brief conversation while Adonis was given some sort of business card. From their body language, it was clear that they did not know each other. After a few minutes the new man walked away and Adonis and his filly were left gazing at the card. I began to make up my own stories about what the card contained, stories about contractual murder or perhaps an invitation to a meeting of Assholes Anonymous, but when Adonis made a couple pelvic thrusting motions, I was pretty sure that he had been approached by someone in the porn business. Apparently, that kind of thing is more common on Chicago's beaches than one might realize. Somehow, I remain unconcerned about being approached.
Not long after this, my entertaining couple packed up and left the beach. Unfortunately, their stink will probably remain wedged in my memory much longer than I would have ever anticipated. He'll be kicking sand all up in my nerd face for an eternity, I'm sure.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Kitchen Komplete
And lo, on the third day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, 2006, our kitchen project came to a close. I have yet to take some final pictures of the completed project, but once a fresh reserve of batteries is acquired, the whole series will be coming forthwith. Suffice to say, we are pleased not only with the outcome but also with the arrival it. Amy and I spent a good portion of the fourth of July proper cleaning the first floor as it had become a C. F. Kanian museum of artifacts, all bearing some significance to us in our past but falling forgotten under sheets of plastic for the whole month of June. So, we have our kitchen and as a bonus the dining and living rooms have been released from captivity as well.
If my estimates are correct, we ended up about seven or eight hundred dollars over our expected cost, a good portion of which can be attributed to our inexperience. The rest of the excess occured due to oversights in material requirements or improvised changes to the layout requirements of microwave vents. We should also end up getting some money back due to some pieces that were purchased but not needed such as a couple of undercabinet lighting units, extra cabinet hardware, and cabinet skins that we opted not to use.
If my estimates are correct, we ended up about seven or eight hundred dollars over our expected cost, a good portion of which can be attributed to our inexperience. The rest of the excess occured due to oversights in material requirements or improvised changes to the layout requirements of microwave vents. We should also end up getting some money back due to some pieces that were purchased but not needed such as a couple of undercabinet lighting units, extra cabinet hardware, and cabinet skins that we opted not to use.
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