Next Stop, The White House!

One of my favorite quotes was uttered by W. C. Fields, "If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it." The first time I'd ever seen those words, they were posted on the wall in the room of my high school government and economics teacher. Unfortunately for him (or me, I can't quite decide), I did not take those words to heart, especially when it came to his tests. Ironically, I think he eventually began to give me points for persistence or perhaps pity when, as the answer to every single question about a specific bit of legislation enacted half a century prior to my birth, I would answer "The Hawley-Smoot Tariff," which is perfectly real but something about which I was painfully uneducated considering that I had only heard about it while reading Dave Barry essays aloud with my friends instead of studying for the government exams. But years later, my youthful persistence to remain ignorant would eventually worm its way back to considering the Fields quote in the context of a harsher reality.

Earlier as a preteen, I loved both playing games with and programming computers. At the time, when asked if I'd had a hobby, I would respond that programming was it and also that I was considering a career in it. Again unfortunately for me, once I became old enough to study such subjects in high school, I discovered that I was good at music and that I liked girls, not to mention that I had also developed a healthy distaste for actually being in high school, which put a premature cap on the progression of my programming skills. But as a college student, I was reintroduced to computer games via Duke Nukem 3D and found that the games I had imagined as only a possibility as a child were now actually being made. It also did not escape me that, not only were those games being made, there was decent music to go along with them, music that someone probably got paid to write. I made up my mind then and there as an undergraduate student struggling to discover what exactly it was that I wanted to do with myself for another fifty years, to embrace my roots and focus on a career in technology as it related to music and sound.

Of course, little did I know at the time that my chances of making music as a career, even in the burgeoning days of computer games' surging popularity, were about as slim or slimmer than my becoming the President of the United States based on my knowledge of the Hawley-Smoot Tariff. I was determined that I could blunder my way in based on my love and knowledge of music and naively applied to every open position I found while sending some truly pathetic examples of demo reel non-showmanship including cassettes with unmarked labels and blank CDs with Sharpie-d contact information scrawled onto the surface. Yes, I have been guilty of these faux pas and more but I do not, however, apologize for anything because without any training or guidance of any kind, I was making it up as I went along, like a jazz solo or a high school government essay exam.

Once I successfully realized that I had a screen door's chance at being built into a submarine of landing an audio gig, I did what anyone with a dream of fantastic underdog success might do. I held onto my dream like a convict guarding his cigarettes, garnered a string of singularly terrible jobs, and continued to work on learning the skills that would someday enable me to make audio for video games. The journey has led me over five hundred miles through blue collar enslavement, entitled trust fund baby classmates and ivory-tower academics, and even a slightly off-target, but related career. However, even with almost half a decade of additional experience holding a related job and an equal amount of time devoted to the attainment of the job, I still could not get the time of day from the game industry if I stopped it on the street and offered it cash. It is as though I am constantly running five steps behind the departing bus, always making it to the door just after it's been closed and locked.

What turns a simple goal into a dream and what drives us to chase them so stubbornly? Perhaps it is the faith that success comes to those who are persistent and patient. But perhaps that success also comes from one's ability to be clever, crafty, or ingenious, to know how to turn the tide in one's favor with a simpler idea. Then, there is also the question of fortune, the act of being in the right place at the right time. Speaking for myself, I feel as though I have the persistence and patience down to a science. But I must lack the ingenuity to truly follow through. Not to mention that the very idea of simple fortune seems as strange to me as any. In any case, I don't know what the future will bring, but if the past is any indication, the words of W. C. Fields continue to resonate with my experiences. Perhaps I should quit my job and run for office.

Heatwave

Why do so many talking heads on the news, during the transition away from the weather, complain about how cold it is? I actually have a bit of news for them: (My finger is to my ear right now.) This just in, IT'S WINTER! It's supposed to be cold!

It's not even that cold right now in reality. The temperature is hovering at just under zero degrees Celsius. Negative ten or twenty degrees Celsius is cold but zero for December? That actually seems a little warm in comparison to normal temperatures for this latitude.

I don't know why I'm ever surprised, though. Every time the TV lady with the highlighted hair and too much makeup starts complaining that it's not warm enough outside, I just shut her out and dream of a giant snowstorm.

Fool Me Once

Our dishwasher isn't functioning properly again. It shows symptoms of another electronics failure of some kind when it either refuses to progress with the current cycle or takes upwards of twenty minutes to move to the next step. We've tried a couple of remedies found on the web to fix the problem(s), which more than a few others have experienced according to Amy's research, but neither of those have proved successful. We continue to open the door to find dirty dishes and a giant pile of partially dissolved detergent caked onto a pot or a plate. There are still a few more things we can try, but if those don't work, we'll have to call for a repair again. Unfortunately, this time, the warranty has long expired and we'll have to pay for the house call and the lousy replacement circuit board that has already failed once and been replaced. Strangely enough, this model as I may have said before received a Consumer Reports Best Buy rating. The only comfort is that we are not the only people who have had the same complaints about the unit over the long haul. For the record, it is a Kenmore Ultra Wash Dishwasher, no longer available at Sears, model number 665.1703. The digits following the period are variable and only distinguish color. This model is very similar and might very well be a redesign of the electronics in our model.

Christmas List

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both. Depends on how awkwardly shaped the gift is.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial. Never had a real tree due to my mother being allergic.

3. When do you put up your tree? When the mood strikes me.

4. When do you take the tree down? See number three.

5. Do you like eggnog? You know, I liked the non-alcoholic stuff when I was a kid but I haven't had any in about that long either so I don't really know.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Atari 2600 games were always a highlight, but there were lots of other cool things that I was given that I remember fondly. Too many to list here.

7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Yes

8. Hardest person to buy for? My dad

9. Easiest person to buy for? Me. :)

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? In 1989, when I was 14, my grandma gave me a New Kids on the Block coloring poster/door hanging. Being both male and a teenager meant that I mostly listened to metal and rap and was not much a fan of male teen heartthrobs. It was the only thing that I've ever regretted opening my mouth about the moment I got it.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? None. We usually contribute to charity what we would normally spend on cards and postage. So, Merry Christmas and don't be disappointed when you don't get a card! The money went to a good cause and we still thought of you!

12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? As soon as I think about it.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I can't remember. Honest.

15. Favorite things to eat at Christmas? I'll miss my grandma's cabbage rolls.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored. Solid blue.

17. Favorite Christmas song? What Child is This? and It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? It's been mostly traveling the 8 hours home for the last few years, but I'm hoping to have more holidays at home with the baby coming.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? This is what Google is for.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Either.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Been opening them on Christmas Eve since I was old enough to stay awake for midnight mass.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Forced, obligatory sentimentality.

23. What is the "corniest" family tradition you do, or miss doing? I have begun reading Santaland Diaries by David Sedaris every year.

24. Ugliest Christmas Decoration ever invented? One of our neighbors used to put up a fake ladder that had an lighted, animated Santa climbing repeatedly towards the roof like Sisyphus except laden with a heavy sack of toys instead of a boulder.

25. Which looks the best, theme trees or homey trees? Whatever you prefer.

26. What does Christmas mean to you? It means both time with family and some nice alone time for reflection, too.

oKo and BigMama are next if they happen to spot this before it disappears!



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Now playing: Rush - By-Tor & The Snowdog
via FoxyTunes