I used to be one of the thickest people I know. As evidence, I offer a true tale that takes place many years ago in which I went on a date. But, see, the thing is I didn't know it was a date. Now I'm getting ahead of myself.
The phone rang and when I picked it up, a friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I asked her who else was going. She hesitated and replied that nobody else was going. I thought that was strange but maybe we'd run into some other friends there.
We didn't. The movie was Sister Act 2, a movie so abysmal that we should have been making out during the opening credits. We didn't. We watched the whole thing, mostly in silence. After the credits rolled, we chatted as I drove her home. I pulled into her driveway, thanked her for the offer of going to the movies, and politely said good night. She returned the pleasantry and seemed irritated as she got out of the car and went inside.
As the screen door slammed, I realized three hours too late what had just happened. It's been about fifteen years since that night and I never apologized. So, for what it's worth, if you ever read this, I'm sorry for being so dense and snubbing you so harshly. I don't think I could ever convince you that it was completely unintentional. I was just a dullard.
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